Most of my friends had children before me, and family and friends would often ask when was I going to have children. All through my 20’s that was a question that I knew I was going to be asked whenever I attended a family gathering. I knew from a very young age that I was not interested in having children in my 20’s. I wanted to truly enjoy my life, travel and party to my heart’s content. I was very clear that if I chose to bring life into this planet, my life would transform completely and I was not interested in that at all.
I was 20 years old when I was asked “When are you planning on having children?” I remember answering “In 10 years.” As the years went by that answer changed to “When I’m 30.” I remember they would be so surprised to hear that and they would say “30? That’s too old!” One of the benefits of being me is that I have never really cared what others think about me, especially since I’ve always been different. I saw life in a different way, since I was a little girl, I knew I was different, and I embraced that. So for those thinking I was weird to want to wait ‘till I was 30 to have children, well I simply didn’t care. It was my life, and if I ever chose to bring children into this planet, it was going to be my choice, and not because I felt pressured by my friends and family or society to do so.
I remember expressing to my friends the importance of preparing myself to be a parent. Since I was 17 years old I would tell my friends that a person needs to prepare to be a parent before they bring children into this world. They should take parenting classes and truly understand what it is that they are getting themselves into before they took the plunge. There is no turning back, so if you’re going to do it, understand the life changing responsibility that it is to be a parent. At that age my friends didn’t really care to have those kinds of conversations, but deep inside I knew I didn’t want that for myself, not anytime soon anyway.
All through my 20’s I traveled, I partied a lot, and I also prepared myself not specifically to be a good parent, but to be a better version of myself. I continue to focus on personal development trainings and courses and my inner spiritual work was heightened as well. In my late 20’s I began to settle down and I knew that my life was going to take a different direction. I was ready.
My first child was born on November 10, 2010, I was 30. Did I plan it? No, absolutely not, not in the sense that I felt that I was going to be 30 and I need to have a child. I knew that I was ready and I wanted to have a child, and it also took a few of my friends years to get pregnant. I figured that if we started trying, it might take us a while and we would eventually get pregnant. Well, I got pregnant on the first try, and it was perfect!
I have always been an unconventional person that doesn’t follow the societal norms. That has brought many people to judge me my whole life as to what I believe and how I choose to live. As you can imagine the judgements and criticisms increased as I began my journey as an Unconventional Mother. Family and friends would throw in their unsolicited two cents whenever they had an opportunity to do so, simply because they didn’t understand why I parent the way I do. Many of them have now apologized for judging me when they did, recognizing that they simply didn’t understand. I’ve learned to understand that others simply don’t understand and that is why they judge, and I also know that eventually they will get it. I continue to move forward, without allowing their judgements and criticisms to affect me, and it’s simply because I really don’t care how other feel about who I am and why I do what I do.
I decided to create this blog for mommies because I feel that there are many topics that I would love to talk about, and I know there are many unconventional mommies out there that would love to have a place to gather with like-minded mommies.
Also, when I facilitate my trainings, I share about my mommy-hood and my experiences as a mother and one of the most frequent complements that I receive is that my children are so lucky to have a mom like me. And in reality, I am truly blessed to have the children that I have. I love that I have the opportunity to have this platform to share with you all my experiences as a mother. My trials and evolution on this motherhood journey.
I want you to know that this place here is for you, the mom that needs a community to chat with that won’t judge them, but instead hold space for them to speak and share and vent and grow and transform. I see you mommy, I know that you are doing the best that you can with what you have and I want you to know that you are enough. You Are Enough! You are wonderful, and together we can grown and become a better version of ourselves.
In Abundance,
Maggie Ramirez